About 7 months ago as I stood in the shower with yet another nest of hair in my hand I had the thought: “What if I cut it all off?”
I didn’t. I still really cling to my hair that in the last couple of years is thinning out at an alarming rate.
Hair loss is normal. Depending on which part of google you want to trust. Losing approx. 100-150 strands a day is considered average. If you have long hair then this is of course is much more noticeable. My hair drives people barmy. I mean we got an animal hair hoover to deal with it. I shed everywhere. It’s like the breadcrumb trail from Hansel and Gretel, only in hair.
The thing is my hair isn’t thinning out like “the average”. Because it’s wavy and frizzy it still looks like I’ve got loads but even between now and the beginning of this year I know there is a difference. I’m lucky in a way that I used to have a ridiculous amount of thick hair. The kind you could make ropes with, because even now I still have enough to convince myself it’s worth fighting over.
Why the hair loss? Well years malnutrition (thank you Achalasia) and Vitamin D deficiency (thank you again Achalasia) appear the most obvious explanations. Only just got the results for Vitamin D deficiency so still working on that. The thing is that “sorting” is probably unlikely to undo the hair loss. Neither are the expensive shampoos and conditioners or treatments I try. They all seem more like ‘making it less bad then it could be’ things.
I get that it’s just hair. I really do. I wouldn’t feel this way if I just got to cut my hair but it’s not really going to be my choice. If it doesn’t stop falling out I will ‘have to do it’. The same way I have had to ‘stop eating this’, ‘doing that’, etc…
When you don’t get to have a say then it becomes something else. Even if –
It. Is. Just. Hair.
I have such hair-envy of those who have long smooth hair or thick hair or basically hair that doesn’t end up in a clump in hair hand every time they wash it. That will never be my hair. I’m never going to get it back.
I can have it for a few hours though.
In May I was at Comic Con and amongst all the costumes and colours were the wigs. I couldn’t resist. I loved the mermaid hair I suddenly had, thick, smooth and beautiful.
Since then I’ve added 2 more wigs. Long flowing locks of magical colours. Hair I will never have.
The wigs are not brilliant quality. They’re obvious but for a few hours they give me a nice boost and that’s a good thing. I wish I could afford high quality ones that fit right and look real but for now these do fine. Maybe when the day comes, and I do brave ‘cutting all the hair off’ I will save up for a high-quality wig that looks real. Just to remember what hair is. Maybe I won’t be able to. Or maybe my hair will stop falling out at its current rate and I can keep what I have. The thing is that however “silly” my wigs might seem to someone else for me they have a feel-good factor.
If you have that, be it in clothes, make-up, hair, anything- LOVE IT!