‘My name is Adam Meltzer and the last thing I remember was being stung by a bee while swinging at a robot-shaped piñata on my twelfth birthday.
I was dead before the candy hit the ground.’
Memoirs of a Neurotic Zombie is narrated by the hilarious Adam Meltzer – pre-teen, worrywart, and now zombie. Adam’s family gets the fright of their lives when he turns up at their door desperate for a shower . . . three months after his funeral.
When most people think zombies, they think of eating people, and unintelligent monsters.
But Adam doesn’t like germs. Or dirt. Or things being disorganised. So waking up as a zombie was definitely not in his plans, and the idea of eating people is disgusting. Getting stung by a bee doesn’t normally lead to becoming a zombie, and it seems incredibly unfair that it’s happened to Adam.
Soon Adam’s back at school trying to fit in and not draw extra attention to himself, but when he sees his neighbour Ernesto transform into a chupacubra, and the beautiful Corina (Adam’s number one mega-crush) turns out to be a (vegan) vampire, undead life is never going to be the same again.
A hilarious adventure caper – if Ferris Bueller met Shaun of the Dead – all about friendship and being yourself . . . even if you’re undead.
I first learned of Adam at the Faber and Faber Blogger Event and when Jeff Norton treated us to the prologue and now I get to share a little bit with you…
Still really hope Jeff Norton does an audio book though because that would be EPIC! Mr Norton I haven’t forgotten our conversation. I’m like an elephant. 😉
Adam responds to existential questions
My family had move on. They’d deleted my TV shows, put down new carpet, and they’d thrown away my NinjaMan toothbrush. They never expected to see me again.
I unwrapped the white toothbrush, emblazoned with a cartoon of a one-armed dentist and the words ‘I only need one arm to make you smile!’ The mint tingled on my decaying teeth, but I knew that tingling sensation meant it was working. Over the reassuring sound of bristles sweeping away three months of plaque, I heard Mom on the phone bringing Dad’s golf game to an abrupt end.
‘I don’t care if you’re a million under par Michael,’ Mom said, enunciating every work. ‘Get back here. Immediately. Adam just walked through the door.’
Amanda gaped at me from the hallway; rolling pin in hand, and finally asked the question that would come to annoy me most throughout my zombiedom: ‘Did you go to heaven?’
I ignored her questions, and just because I wanted to hear what Mom had to say to Dad, but because I didn’t want to dignify it with a response. I mean, here I was, a medical miracle – a zombie brushing his teeth, and all my stupid sister could think about is whether I’d made it past St Peter or not.
Psst, if you go and check out these blogs there are more snippets to read:
@PewterWolf13 @BBookLBook @daydreamin_star @MuchLovedBooks @wingedreviews @WondrousReads @cloverness @Yayeahyeah @raimy_rawr @WeSatDown @ChooseYA @overflowingklc @Bookbabblers @sarahsreviews @ThatJesseBloke @CheezyfeetBooks @BookZone